But don’t reward the one who’d told for tattling on trivial issues or herald him as the hero. He might even feel shielded from discipline since someone else is behaving inappropriately.Īddress the other child as needed, especially if he is doing something he shouldn’t. It rewards his tattling by making him feel like the hero. And other times you do need to step in, especially if they’re hurting others or about to break things.īut that focuses too much on the other child and gives the tattletale a sense of false importance. When you hear your child telling you things others shouldn’t be doing, it’s tempting to jump in and start scolding the “perpetrators.” You might tell his sibling to share or stop making a mess. In The Power of Empathy, you’ll learn how empathy is the secret key that makes a huge difference in how we interact with our kids. You could say, “You seem upset because you’re trying to do the right thing and your brother keeps jumping on the couch.”įree resource: As frustrating as her negative behaviors may be, a lot of it can be prevented simply by seeing things from her perspective. This will help her feel heard and understood, as well as make her aware of reasons she might be tattling. Which is why, before you address the downsides of tattling, your first reaction should be to acknowledge your child’s feelings and intentions. They might even feel like tattling is the right thing, especially when we encourage them to share any concerns they may have.
Other times, they highlight their siblings’ misdeeds to compensate for their own. For instance, they feel a sense of injustice for following rules when other “rule breakers” flaunt them. So, how can you stop tattling without undervaluing his feelings or sending the wrong message? I did a bit of research on tattle telling and came up with a variety of ways that did the trick: 1. He should also feel like he can tell you anything, while not resorting to “gossip” as a way to gain leverage on others or favor in your eyes. You want to stop your child’s habit of telling on others’ every misdeed while acknowledging the intent and sense of fairness he may feel.
I knew this behavior was normal, but I also didn’t want it to escalate or disrupt his social interactions with his brothers or peers.Īt the same time, I also didn’t want him to feel like he can’t tell grownups anything, from how he feels to genuinely dangerous activities his siblings might be doing. Of my three kids, he took to tattling enough for me to notice. Sometimes he’d even start the day with yet another report before saying hello: “He was talking instead of being quiet in bed.” Or we’d be sitting at the dining table and he’d point out, “He’s playing with his water cup.” “He was jumping on the couch,” he’d report about his brother. I’d leave the twins to cook in the kitchen when one of them would follow after a few minutes.
#Kid such tattletale how to#
Does your child tell on other kids for every little thing? Learn how to stop tattling with these tips and telling on others once and for all.
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